Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Japanese Fart


A young Japanese girl had been taught all her life that when she married she was to please her husband and never upset him. So the first morning of her honeymoon the young Japanese bride crawled out of bed after making love, stooped down to pick up her husband's clothes and accidentally let out a big fart.She looked up and said: "Aww so sowwy...excuse prease, front hole so happy back hole laugh out loud."

Thursday, August 10, 2006

What Does Your Drink Say


Drinks Show Your PersonalityBefore you order a drink in public, you should read this! Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman'spersonality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately,theyconcurred on almost all counts. The results:Drink: Beer Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.Drink: Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.Drink: Mixed Drinks Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very pickytaste;knows EXACTLY what she wants.Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. If she's interested,she'llsend YOU a drink..................Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel) Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet eveningswithfriends.Drink: White Zinfandel Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually,she hasNO clue.Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...this should be aneasytarget.Drink: Shots Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to gettotally drunk... and naked.Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed. Nothingtodo but wait, however, be careful not to make her mad!Drink: Tequila No explanations required - everyone just KNOWS what happens there.THEN, there is the MALE addendum ---- The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid. ne Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid. Wine: He is hoping that the wine will give him a sophisticated image tohelphim get laid. Whiskey: He doesn't give a damn about anything but getting laid. Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress. White Zinfandel: He is gay