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2009-08-27T10:45:00.001-06:00

2009-08-27T10:45:00.000-06:00

Idiots of 2007

2008-09-27T11:41:00.002-06:00

I don’t know if these are true…but they’re funny!

Number One Idiot of 2007
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
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Number Two Idiot of 2007
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing. Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
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Number Three Idiot of 2007
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.' While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
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Number Four Idiot of 2007
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that; measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40. Wise guy........ But you still get a sign
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Number Five Idiot of 2007
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, 'Because I don't believe you are over 21.' The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber th at he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later. This guy definitely needs a sign.
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Idiot Number Six of 2007
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. This guy doesn't even deserve a sign.
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Idiot Number Seven of 2007
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.
The whole event was caught on videotape. Yep, here's your sign
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Idiot Number Eight of 2007
I live in a semi-rural area. (Weyauwega, Wisconsin) We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! - I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.' From Kingman, KS.
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If You Die, I Lose Money

2008-07-24T07:51:00.003-06:00

Well I hate to put it so harshly, but that's the point that I was trying to get across to my friend today basically about a month and a half ago when the second generation of iPhone's was introduced to the public by Steve Jobs. Some people noticed that he was a little bit thinner than his last appearance(back story. Steve Jobs has had cancer and survived it once)well, this started rumors amongst the financial community analysts started calling into question his health when the Apple Corp. was contacted about Steve Jobs health. They were apply was. "It's a private matter"... this type of statement to analysts and investors will inevitably cause his stock to go downas my friend debated today what business is it of the public to know his health. As long as there are competent people behind the scenes, what difference does it makeI told her that it makes a big difference with certain companies as an investor and a trader I want to know that the person that I invest in their company is 100% mentally and physically capable of doing his or her job. And I don't want him or her doing anything to jeopardize my money in Steve Jobs case. Yes, there are 30,000 capable engineers and researchers to carry on the job. If God forbid something was to happen to himbut I told her. When you invest in Apple. You invest in a culture. There are millions of people who use iPhone's iPod Mac books and everything Steve Jobs he is for all intents purposes AppleI told her it would be different if it was Exxon Ross Department stores. TJ Maxx, because the public doesn't associate any of those CEOs with a face and at any of these CEOs could probably have an unfortunate demise and the company would run like clockworkBut Steve Jobs on the other hand God forbid if something were to happen to him most of the Macintosh users think that he is downstairs in his basement in drawing up design after design, and then he appears like some magical wizard to give you these cool gadgets. So, heaven forbid if something were to happen to him. The stock price would plummetso what do you think, if you are heavily invested in a company, should the health of the person running the company be public knowledge?

How to Travel by Cargo Ship

2008-07-23T12:07:00.001-06:00

The Traveller's Notebook has a fascinating guide to travelling by cargo ship. I didn't realise that it was possible to travel by cargo ship, at least comfortably. It's not cheap though. It can cost between $80-$140 a day.
And if you are feeling adventurous you can travel around the world. The trip takes between 110-120 days and takes you to Papeete in Tahiti, various sparsely populated and unspoiled islands in the South Pacific, New Zealand, Papua New Guinea, Indonesia, Singapore then via the Suez Canal, before returning to Europe. There isn't a price listed on the website but it's probably not cheap.

Windows Vista... It's Not That Bad

2008-07-23T06:41:00.001-06:00

Okay I will admit I was just like everyone else scared to death to give up Windows XP. I mean, it was reliable. It had already been around all the bugs were worked out not to mention all the horror stories. I had read and heard about Windows Vista being a nightmare but about two months ago. When I ordered my new laptop I started using Windows Vista and I can personally say it's not that bad. I haven't had any crashes. I really don't have to worry about losing data, because I don't keep any information on my laptop. All of my files that are really important to me are in two 500 GB storage centers that I can access anywhere, because they are on my home networkbut overall Vista is pretty smooth. I like the way you can toggle between pages with the pages looking like a three-dimensional simulation. Like in that movie minority report, and as far as maintenance. Its maintenance free defrag your computer or cleaning out old files manually is something you don't have to worry about Vista does it automaticallyI will admit the only thing that got on my nerves while I first started using Vista there is a safety feature that keeps you from deleting files accidentally while Vista will ask you about three times what they pop up message. If you really want to do it that took a bit getting used tobut from reading the articles I can disable thatI think Microsoft made the mistake of releasing Vista one year too soon. I feel bad for those people who were the first in line to pick up one of these copies and not wait till the bugs were worked outI'm thinking about getting a desktop, one of those all-in-one deals. Also XPS and Vista will also be on that toPS I was a coffee shop and I ask to look over this woman's shoulder while she was on her Mac book I'm sorry. I simply don't understand the appeal of Macintosh operating system

What the Frak is going on?

2008-04-06T07:36:00.001-06:00

Just like 24. I was Johnny-come-lately to the new season of Battle Star Galactica. Actually, I started watching it about two years ago. I would catch an episode here and there, but I never really got into it just like 24

and just like with 24 I rented an season from Blockbuster spent the weekend watching it (I love back to back television with no commercial) and I was hooked. The first thing you notice is the robots don't look like they did when I was growing up. You know the ones back in the 70s with the red light blazing back and forth. They still exist, but the ones that mostly interact with humans look like the photograph above... and they love sex and are fully capable of snapping your neck... just like one of them did in the first episode. She saw a human baby was really curious asked the woman "could she hold it"... then just like that. She snapped the poor baby's neck and put it back in the stroller and walked off as if it was nothing

DAMN... but I guess that's the way the writers of the show want you to know although the the robots are not clunky with steel and have a red blazing eyeball. They are very lethal killing machines. Just like their brethren, they just have sexy skin covering them

and speaking of sexy. That's one thing that I've noticed in watching the episodes. The new Battle Star Galactica is heavily female driven Starbuck is a pilot Jock, who believes in drinking with the guys screwing the guys and occasionally going toe to toe with a serious right hook. She has no qualms about back talking her superior officers waiting for them to punch her out all the while. She is packing a right hook of her own and not afraid to use it. Even though she is often thrown in the brig after punching out one of her male officers or female

the bathrooms and living quarters aboard the Galactica are coed and you will often find yourself doing a double take were in my case rewinding the DVD because I knew I saw a nipple. And yes it was attached to a woman :-)... I did not know they can get away with this on basic cable. :-)

and the president of the fleeing colonies is also a woman, who is borderline power-hungry and dictatorial and uses her presidential authority to throw people out of airlocks. If she is not satisfied with their information

but I must admit, this series is heavy on characters and storyline. They really don't have a big budget for Star Wars type space battle scenes and you can tell. But the storyline and characters more than make up for the week to the average special effects

as my friend was telling me last night. That's probably why it appeals to so many women as she says. "Guys like to see things blown up." Women want to know why was it blown up?"... I think she may have a point

oh, and I forgot the language and the violence did I mention sex :-)... apparently on Battle Star Galactica everyone likes to cuss. So instead of saying Fuck or Fucking that word is replaced by Frak!! One any episode you can count how many times Frak is used up into the hundreds even during the sex scenes... Frak me for Frak harder!!

The only thing about being Johnny-come-lately with series like this that you realize are good. After you watch back to back episodes is sometimes it's the last and final season. Such is the case with 24 (but they are already talking about making that a theatrical movie)... and this is the final season for Battle Star Galactica... oh well I guess I will find another television series in a box set... I heard something about a program called Gray's anatomy. I wonder what that about? LOL

No Tears for This King

2008-04-04T07:25:00.001-06:00

Today was always a hard day for my mother when she was alive. Today is the 40th anniversary of the assassination of Martin Luther King. My mother would always say this was a bittersweet day for her bitter because she knew where she was when she heard the news of Dr. King's assassination. I can only imagine her grief in my eyes. My mother was a strong woman, and I had only seen her cry. One time

that was the morning of the launch of the space shuttle Challenger. I was home from school that morning and was obsessed with watching the shuttle launch. She was in the kitchen, watching her television by this time, all of the major networks had stopped broadcasting the launch of the space shuttles. So I watched it on public television. The shuttle launched on time, rolled on its back, and in the words still haunt me "Challenger. You have permission for throttle up!! There was a pop in the sky rained down with parts of the Challenger

I screamed to my mother. "Mama the space shuttle just blew up!!... stop playing stew!"... as she turned to the channel by now every network had started broadcasting it by the time I got into the kitchen. She had tears streaming down her face. There were no words from her mouth. Just silence and eerie silence...

that was the most devastating thing my generation had seen up until the terrorist attacks on 9/11. But every year, looking back at April 4. I wonder what my mother's generation was going through and their leader was struck down by an assassin's bullet I can only imagine the devastation she felt. She never really talked about it. She just told me that I was the sweet part in this bittersweet day because I was born two weeks later to the day. She would ask me "Tucker, how old are you boy!"... I would say my age, and then she would tell me "do you know that two weeks ago to the day. They murdered a king."... as children often do, I would ask that inevitable question that sometimes has no answers... why. Why did they do that... her reply was always "I don't know sweetheart I will never understand man's inhumanity to man"...

by this time my father would be around and he would say "but you don't grieve for that man. He was never afraid to die that's right son good old Martin was probably looking right at that cracker. When he pulled the trigger and Martin was probably laughing, because Martin knew his work was done, because you can't kill a journey that we have to take"...

so a few weeks ago I ordered this documentary that you see above, because I want to get in the mindset I want to feel what my parents felt. It's an incredible documentary, probably the best one I have ever seen but it left me asking more questions. Not of the documentary about my mother and father

what would they think today 40 years later, we have a black man and a white woman almost steps from ascending to the highest office. It just seems so surreal watching white police officers make their dogs attack black people. And now 40 years later, things have changed so much. At least from my perspective, I can only imagine if they were alive, including Dr. King would what they think

I know one thing I do have my fathers in my brother's state of mind I don't fear death I don't fear any man. I don't know if it's because I'm getting older or I'm becoming more like the men I admire... so today for me as my father told me will be no tears for Dr. King. Just a deep admiration and a silent prayer

The Scent of This Man

2008-03-24T05:20:00.003-06:00

They say the second association to an actual memory is smell. I guess that's true, because every time I smell that peach smelling perfume and the pink bottle (and I can't think of the name) I automatically think of my first girlfriend. It's almost like your mind freezes up and transports back to the year you met her. I can almost hear her say her name right there on Haines point in Washington, DC... but anyway I digress. LOL I guess the same holds true for women as a matter of fact, I know this. It's a scientific fact that women's olfactory senses are far better than us male's well. It only follows to reason why you are a finely tuned gift from God, if only he gave you the ability to sniff out bad relationships. Okay I'm getting off of track. That's a whole another story... had a doctor Phil phone session this weekend... Tucker. I hate him... Tucker. He never pays attention to me... Tucker he takes me for granted... but I digress ANYWAY, back to smell... I pretty much have been wearing the same colognes since my teenage years Obsession, Gray flannel, Passion for men by Elizabeth Taylor, they've always worked for me especially Calvin Klein's obsession. I don't have to use that much (big brother's rule number one. "When you can still smell your Colón you have one too much of it") three shots to the body. My left shoulder my chest and my thigh... don't ask me why but judging by yesterday's Easter company. It still works that sigh of the woman makes followed by some random Spanish that I didn't understand was all the approval I needed :-) but it did get me to thinking. I have been so routine, and these three fragrances that I haven't tried anything new. I know from researching different companies every day for my stocks, that the perfume industry is a billion-dollar industry. People like to smell good. Thank God :-) I'm about to turn 40 in a few weeks, and I'm looking for opinions, and we all know, if you want someone's opinion the Internet is full of them. So what is your favorite fragrance or Colón, if you're a man, what works for you if you're a woman. What makes your knees weak... LOL I've heard so many strong opinions about smell on a man from "I would rip his clothes off right there and do him because he smelled so good"... to "he reminded me of my father when he walked by me and I smelled him"... that last one I don't know is good or bad, but maybe I'm tying things into sex... it wouldn't be the first time and it won't be the last time. Remember I'm turning 40 in a few weeks I will officially be a dirty old man. :-). So back to the question at hand what is your favorite fragrance or Colón on a man. What is that scent, that takes you there know where you're going I don't know. I just want to know what takes you there. LOL :-)

It's Too Late for Heroes

2008-02-24T15:53:00.001-07:00

It's 2008 and I think people have realized that as my mother used to say "the cavalry ain't coming baby. You have to help yourself, but if you remember the words that I taught you. You will find your way"... and I think that's where America is now the time for Vietnam heroes running for president and past war heroes are over.

True leaders have stepped up, and they lead by example, not by their words they don't own football teams. Or have married out of convenience for a personal gain. That would benefit them years later, they lead the people they care for with compassion and understanding because they want the best for their daughters wives, brothers and sisters. They want to be able to look at young child in the face and tell that child. I'm going to bring your father home from Iraq without following up those words with, but the boogie man is going to come and get you if he comes home to soon and if that is the case and the bogeyman does come. The leader will have enough wisdom heart and courage to first talk and find out why do you want to hurt my people and if the bogeyman's words are not suitable for the leader then only will the leader in engage him in to the ultimate act of force. A war, and it will not be fought from a revenge or vendetta. It will be fought, regretfully, and humbly, because lives will be lost and if it is fought. It's because the people asked our leader to protect us from harm, not mysterious weapons of mass distraction.

It's time that our country grow up. Yes, we are a young country by the world standards. Just in our infancy of only 200 years or more. We have wronged our own people killed our own brothers raped our own sisters and mothers experimented on our fellow brother like a guinea pig assassinated. Other leaders. The list goes on of the atrocity of man's inhumanity to man but now we are entering into a time in our lives. When black white Chinese Asian Puerto Rican Cuban African and many other ethnic backgrounds can be one person. So it's harder to hate, what looks like you

And this small speck of a planet that is dwarfed by planets much larger and with much more angrier climates than ours that occurred naturally. It's not that bad of a place. We don't need a hero to lead us out of this place we just need a leader to help us fix the ones that were on we need to take care of our homeless. We need to educate our own children. We need to show them that before we look up into the stars and dream of traveling the galaxy for work must start here first. We must be willing to help our own neighbor. We need to grow up and be self sufficient. Again like we once were we already know what bad we can do on this planet. We have the capability to wipe out a small town if we wanted, but it's much harder to redesign what you already have. But once it's done. Not only will we benefit of the whole world will the one consistent thing in our country's history. And in mankind's history is change. I think the time is now. I don't think were going to get a second chance. And like I said, we don't need another hero individually we are strong enough together we are our own heroes.

CAUTION Ass Whooping inside Costume!!

2007-11-01T07:05:00.000-06:00

I know this guy will probably never tell this story, to his grandkids LOL, because being beat up by a group of mascots is not the most macho thing in the world to tell your grandkids or for that matter anyone. I wonder what he did to tick them off, and how is that conversation going to go. When he has to explain all the bumps and bruises to someone. "See what happened was, a group of superhuman alien mascots were backstage at this concert one day, and they caught me off guard and one of them want to of them got in a good punch!" :-) LOL, but check out the video. I'm sorry for the man's's pain, but it just makes me laugh to even want to this I guess he forgot whether it be a funny looking teddy bear goat or what have you there still is a person inside. That may be capable of kicking your ass

James Bond, Likes to Beat up Women

2007-01-16T15:02:00.000-07:00

I remember my brother telling me about this interview when it came out in the 80s and even though I like his movies. I must admit, after I saw this. It obviously changed my mind about him, if I see him out in the streets. I’m going to break his damn hip, and then go rent The Rock I was showing my friend. This video clip, and she said. "That’s why him and Wesley Snipes, like those old school passive ass Asian women if they mess with one of us new age ones. They would get a stiletto in their ass" LOL. She cracks me up

Déjà Vu but Only in High Definition

2007-01-11T04:43:00.000-07:00

In the 80s artist by the Paul Hardcastle did a song called "19" it was about the Vietnam War. Take a look at the video listen to the words and remember he did this song in the 80s. In remembrance of a war that went on in 1965. I think the only thing that has changed is to watch the footage of the Iraq war. In high definition, and we have the common courtesy to welcome our troops when they come home. Instead of spitting on them

The Origins of the ''F'' Word

2007-01-02T07:37:00.000-07:00

Have you used ittoday?.

You Know You're Living in 2007 If...

2007-01-01T23:46:00.000-07:00

Its 2007, and it’s got thinking about the future. It seems like just the other day. We were talking about, 1999 that seem like the year that everything was so cutting edge. Fast forward a couple of years and a few of us can leave our home without our cell phone (I know I can’t). Today we communicate through text messaging, instant messaging talking through the computer to a landline and some of the gadgets that are due to come out this year are incredible I remember when I was a child I use to watch the cartoon the Jetson and you would see flying cars. I don’t know if I’ll see one of those in my lifetime. Who knows, maybe I will, but here is a video and some reminders of the future that we live in
YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2006 when...
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that
they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if
anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the
screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the
first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you
turn around to go back and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this
message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this
list.
AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself

MEDIUM... I don't think so

2007-01-01T23:33:00.000-07:00

This is Patricia Arquette

star of the hit American TV show medium, where she plays a psychic that helps solve murder mysteries the tag line on her website is (she sees things. Others can't) apparently Miss Arquette wants everybody to see these two thing OMG her TV show should be called HUGE. Instead of mediumhttp://www.nbc.com/Medium/

Oh My God! I'm Getting Older Where Did My Life Go?

2006-11-05T15:25:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering
experience…I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you
imagine. Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing everyday that scares you Sing Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours. Floss Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
yourself. Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. Stretch Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone. Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body,
use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever
own.. Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don't

follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for
good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out. Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will
look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth. But trust me on the sunscreen…

Mid-Term Elections, Sin City

2006-11-05T05:26:00.000-07:00

It’s almost Tuesday, and the political race is getting ugly (but don’t they say that every year?) Have never known politics to be a warm and fuzzy feeling that you get that brings a bright smile to your face when you watch them going on. I either read or heard somewhere a long time ago. "There are two things you do not want to see being made hotdogs and politics." And I guess until the age of 31 or so. They never interest me one way or another. Yes, I would look through the USA Today page and see article "Jesse Jackson for president or Al Sharpton struggles to keep his campaign going strong." But it never interest me and my father would sit and watch Meet the Press. I could never understand why what or how he could watch that. But now I understand. I was younger than and I was doing what young people do living a carefree life and he was older, and he was doing what older people do. Being the keeper of my future. He was making sure that in his words. "Those crooked bastards." Did not mess up my future. I find myself doing and saying the same thing.
But I find myself doing it for my nieces and nephews. I know every country hates us every extremeness with the right amount of explosives, and he and his or her mind wants to come to the middle of Times Square or some major metropolis and blow themselves up, to make a point. My voting on Tuesday will not change that someone will always want to do something crazy. But my voting on Tuesday will do this it will tell some of the senators and congressmen/and women that I do not like the job that you are doing. I do not like the fact that we are spending $2 billion a week of fighting a war that was started in my opinion on half-truths. On September the 12th a day after those buildings fell, we needed a bad guy and sheriff George W. Bush mounted up his posse and found one. But sheriff Bush can’t seem to take his blinders off. He is focused and absolute and that would be a wonderful thing for a president. If there were not so many people dying every day. So he can sit in his office hold many press conferences and babbled the words "stay the course." Because the course is getting rockier and rockier, because every time an innocent Iraqi father, mother or family member has to bury one of their dead, because they were caught in the crossfire. I don’t think they think about how great it is over here in America, he or she has just been given a reason to strap on 10 pounds of explosives and make his or her point of why their loved one had to die. And if you’re reading this and thinking anti-American. Nothing could be far from the truth. I support the troops and the men and women in our Armed Forces. War is not fair, but too many people have died and many more will. But I think we have let our town sheriff pick a fight with the wrong locals. At least when Saddam Hussein was there, and they could hate him. But now, they resent us, and they try and succeed in killing each other. We are just merely a casualties of war. We are not fighting it. We are just dying from it

The Power Of the BANANA

2006-11-05T05:17:00.000-07:00

After reading this, you'll never look at a banana in the same way again.
Bananas contain three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber. A banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy.
Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes.
But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit.
It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.
Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.
PMS: Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.
Anemia: High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.
Blood Pressure: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.
Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.
Constipation: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.
Hangovers: One of the quickest
ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.
Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.
Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.
Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.
Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.
Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and crisps. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.
Ulcers: The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.
Temperature control: Many other cultures see bananas as a "cooling" fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand, for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.
Smoking & Tobacco Use: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassiu! m and ma gnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.
Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.
Strokes: According to research in "The New England Journal of Medicine, 'eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!
Warts: Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!
So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, "A banana a day keeps the doctor away!"
PS: Bananas must be the reason monkeys are so happy all the time! I will add one here; want a quick shine on our shoes?? Take the INSIDE of the banana skin, and rub directly on the shoe...polish with dry cloth. Amazing fruit.

Sunday Morning Quickies

2006-11-05T05:08:00.000-07:00

Quickie #1 One day, a husband came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went fishing
Quickie #2 A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!" The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get out."
Quickie #3 Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.
Quickie #4 A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' "Can you read this?" the optician asked. Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."
Quickie #5 Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent." "Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonnay."

Scarface (The Short Version)

2006-09-16T08:20:00.000-06:00

If you have ever seen scar face . You know that it’s probably one of Brian de Palma’s best works , as well as Al Pacino . One of the world’s best actors . Here is the plot line (in 1980 Miami A. Determining Cuban immigrant takes over the drug empire while trying to fill his thirst for greed . In the drug cartel) , but you don’t have time for that here is the short version

Be Careful Having Cybersex

2006-09-10T04:34:00.000-06:00

Of course we have to worry about hackers identity theft and viruses , but the next time you’re thinking about having cybersex with someone consider this

New Airline (TPA Terror Proof Airline)

2006-09-09T14:32:00.000-06:00

WELCOME TO TPA (Terrorist-Proof Airlines) We at TPA, Terrorist-Proof Airlines, are in the flying business ! We can absolutely guarantee no WALK-ON GUNS, KNIVES, BOX CUTTERS, SHOE-BOMBS or other weapons will ever be carried onto OUR FLIGHTS ! Book your next flight with TPA, the safest airline in the industry.
AND, If a Muslim extremist sees a naked woman he is oblidged to commit suicide ! And if you are not happy with our airline service Feel free To use Our special Car rental service Design with you in mind (See video)Happy travels And enjoy your 100 Virgins

Elmo is a Brother?

2006-09-09T12:21:00.000-06:00

Well actually , his voice is listen to the whole story , and meet the voice behind the world’s greatest entertainer (on the toddlers circuit . I must admit I’m also a fan) . In this interview on NPR radio Kevin Clash interview

Japanese Fart

2006-08-30T13:14:00.000-06:00

A young Japanese girl had been taught all her life that when she married she was to please her husband and never upset him. So the first morning of her honeymoon the young Japanese bride crawled out of bed after making love, stooped down to pick up her husband's clothes and accidentally let out a big fart.She looked up and said: "Aww so sowwy...excuse prease, front hole so happy back hole laugh out loud."

What Does Your Drink Say

2006-08-10T23:40:00.000-06:00

Drinks Show Your PersonalityBefore you order a drink in public, you should read this! Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman'spersonality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately,theyconcurred on almost all counts. The results:Drink: Beer Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.Drink: Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.Drink: Mixed Drinks Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very pickytaste;knows EXACTLY what she wants.Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. If she's interested,she'llsend YOU a drink..................Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel) Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet eveningswithfriends.Drink: White Zinfandel Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually,she hasNO clue.Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...this should be aneasytarget.Drink: Shots Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to gettotally drunk... and naked.Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed. Nothingtodo but wait, however, be careful not to make her mad!Drink: Tequila No explanations required - everyone just KNOWS what happens there.THEN, there is the MALE addendum ---- The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid. ne Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid. Wine: He is hoping that the wine will give him a sophisticated image tohelphim get laid. Whiskey: He doesn't give a damn about anything but getting laid. Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress. White Zinfandel: He is gay

YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.

2006-07-26T23:13:00.000-06:00

YouTube - Broadcast Yourself. Andy Warhol once said , everyone will have 15 minutes of fame . I think that 15 minutes is getting longer this site is very addictive and voyeuristic you get to peek inside of people's homemade videos . it's amazing what people will do when they have a video camera and an audience myself included , :-)

Unusual Anniversary To some?

2006-07-02T06:24:00.000-06:00

I think everyone has significant dates in their life, such as birthdays Christmas holidays wedding anniversaries and things of that nature . But today the is a day that has a mixed blessing for me today is the day that I had my accident, putting me in this wheelchair. Some people would look at this date, as a grim reminder of what has happened. That to be quite honest. Maybe it’s my sick sense of humor, but I celebrate it. It was a defining moment in my life. It has made me the man that I am today. And with my family support and my mother’s words of constant encouragement of"God does not make mistakes"I feel as though I have a lot to celebrate first I will take you through the steps of this day literally and metaphorically. I was in Shreveport, Louisiana visiting my brother and his wife. My brother was still in the military stationed at Barksdale Air Force Base. I had been there for a week, and in 1982. There wasn’t much to do in Shreveport, Louisiana there was one strip mall with about seven individual shops inside of it and I had already been there about three times. There was also a movie theater we had been there also has a matter of fact. The last movie that I saw the day before my accident was Firefox with Clint Eastwood. My brother gave me a hard time, because I was a chicken and did not want to see the movie remake of "The Thing". I was a video game head and I love playing video games. I remember my brother, catching me out in the lobby and giving me a hard time, because I was supposed to be inside the movie theater watching the movie (he always found a way to bust me out. When I was doing something wrong). LOL but the next morning I got up a very early I always did, because my brother got up early. So he was inadvertently, wakes’ I up. I remember fooling around with my brothers inexpensive stereo system, which I knew I was probably going to get trouble about: -) but just overall being bored around his apartment, and his ex-wife was not the most entertaining woman. I guess that’s why that’s his ex-wife. Whole another story LOL anyway it was about lunchtime, and I was just eating some fish and chips microwavable dinner when two of my brothers best friends from work came over and wanted me to go swimming at a nearby lake. I was so happy to be going somewhere, but my sister-in-law told me I needed to call. My brother at work to ask his permission I called he was very busy and told me yes. I later found out that he regretted telling me that because he knew I had never been to a lake but he felt as though. I was in good hands with his friends and he felt slightly guilty about me being there and not going anywhere. Just for the record we have had our time to talk as adult men, and now he is 100% OK with it because he sees the way that I’m living my life. Anyway I proceeded to the lake with my brothers friends it was an extremely hot July day. I remember what I was wearing a pair of blue shorts some moccasins and a blue lacrosse club shirt on and under that I had on my Speedo’s which I had just purchased. Because I was a swimmer and diver but only around a pool. I remember going down the winding road that led to the lake. We got out of the car and went to the picnic area to be in the shade. We sat and talked for while joked around, things like that and then one of my brothers friends said"OK let’s make this happen"I remember the sun being so sold very hot as we walked from under the shade of the trees. I remember standing there first taking off my shirt, and then my shorts, and then I stepped out of my moccasins the sand felt so hot I began to run like I would as if I were at a pool to get out of the sand. I remember launching my body into the air, and then a split second later. I felt nothing. I opened my eyes, and I could see my hands, but I could not move them. I was lying in the water face down. I could feel the water go into my mouth. But I could not stand up it seem like an eternity that I stayed there, and finally, one of my brothers friends drag me to the shore. The only thing I could feel was my nose. My lips and my ears. My brother’s friends were crying one of them. On repeating"oh my God Nathaniel is going to kill me"I remember the hot sun. I once felt all over my body but now I can only feel it on my face. I started to cry, because I knew something was wrong. The local lifeguards stabilized my neck with sandbags or leased it felt like sandbags until the EMTs got there they arrived on the scene and I remember a very authoritative but a gentle female paramedic. She asked me"sweetheart are you having any trouble breathing"through the whimpers of my crying I answered her"no I can breathe OK. I just want my mother"she responded with a caress to my face, and told me"we will get your mother, but we need to make sure you are breathing OK. So I’m going to put some oxygen over your face for the ride to the hospital"they loaded me in to the ambulance. This world was foreign to me. I had never been inside of an ambulance before, this smells and sounds were so strange. I remember her yelling to the driver"would you please stop going over bumps. We have a possible spinal cord injury back here"she called to the Air Force Base, to gain access. They told her they did not have a neurologist there. I would have to go to bolster city general hospital. She got back on the radio and told them. I have a possible spinal cord injury incoming"they told her"we are extremely overloaded here. Is there another location, you can transport him to"her response listens ladies? I’m coming into the fucking hospital have a neurologist on hand ASAP!!!"she hung up the radio and intended to me. She did her. I was visibly scared. So she kept on caressing the only place that I could feel my for head and telling me"everything is going to be OK Sweetheart, everything is going to be OK. Just relax your breathing OK. Your vitals are fine. We are about five minutes away from the hospital. You’re going to be OK"when I got to the hospital. There was chaos everywhere. I remember everyone in the emergency room was attending to me I started to get even more scared. I Nurse came over and said"we are going to have to put you in traction. I didn’t know what that was basically, they took a steel apparatus and screwed it into the sides of my head and then hanging about 25 pounds of weight off of the back of the bed keeping my spinal column in alignment. It was excruciating pain despite the pain medication. They had given me the last sides that I saw before. I started to fall asleep from the pain medication were my brother and his wife standing there in the corner of the curtain with tears in his eyes. That’s what I really got scared. I had never seen my brother cry before the next couple of months and also a first-year was the hardest . I again sensation back everywhere except my knees down my mobility improved more than they expected. You may read this and say why are you celebrating, because I got the chance to live another day and each day has been a gift, because I know, because my mother told me"God does not make mistakes. You have a purpose"today I will go out tonight have a good time and celebrate my life, because I could have died. Right there in a lake in Shreveport, Louisiana, but that was not his will. I think my purpose in life is to educate. To make people understand that just because you have a disability. Your life does not cease to exist in my case. It began on July 2, 1982. At 4:45 p.m. I’ve experienced so much in these years. I’ve done things that surprise me, as well as my family. I love the look on people’s faces when they find out I’m in a wheelchair. But I’m moving a complete life filled with everything you do plus a little but more: -) and I won’t sit here and be a hypocrite and say I haven’t had my bad days. But they are few and far between. So,with my brothers confidence in me of always saying"handle your business" and my sisters willingness to live for each day and my nieces and nephew, unconditional love I thankfully embraced my destiny , and look at this world for what it is in my eyes because he gave me the chance to see the world . And for me . It is a wonderful world , because I was left with the chance to be on it . :-)

Because they think I'm Retarded

2006-03-22T03:58:00.000-07:00

I was telling her friend about this story today I thought I was share it I have been in a wheelchair for about 24 years now and I'm very comfortable of what I am and who I am and I have a sick sense of humor . when it comes to my disability and dealing with people . I understand that it is sometimes human nature to deal with something you don't understand at arm's length and make assumptions this is where my entertainment begins if you read my blog , you know that I like to travel . this particular time . I was getting a ride from a friend to the airport he was an able-bodied person we rode up to the drop-off section of the airport the skycaps come up . of course , to help you with your luggage . they reluctantly stand there and watch as a transfer it to my chair all the while communicating only with my friend , because he is the one that is able-bodied and they think I'm retarded , because I haven't said anything they assume , because I'm not speaking and their own ignorance that I am incapable of thought . so , my friend puts all of my luggage on the skycaps dollies and as you know they don't let you stay parked or let your car stay unattended" we both knew that" so as I get situated in my chair . I purposely did not say anything and do not make eye contact eye can see out of the corner of my eye's . they have this petrified look on their face , because he is getting in his car and leaving so therefore , that means that they will have to deal with me directlythis is where my fun starts I noticed the disbelief on the two skycaps face as my friends leaves and says "have a nice trip Tucker see you in about two weeks" in my best impression other person with a retardation I pretend like I'm crying and start to say"whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy what am I going to do he said he was going to love me and he would never leave me whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy I don't have any money I'm very hungry and I need to use the bathroom whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy"if you could of seen the horror on their face it was like they were saying to themselves what the fuck , are we going to do with this retarded man they started to panic I let them on for about five minutes and then with a smile on my face am back to my regular self I say to them , where is Gate 5 and could you please help me with my bags as I slipped the both $20 And where can I find the duty-freeShop , because I like to pick up a few things before my flightThe look of relief on those two men's facesWas that of two runaway slaves That had just made it up , North This is why I love travelingAnd meeting new people First of all I love breaking stereotypes I love laughing I really love messing with people:-) And when I travel alone People are forced to deal with me In my wheelchair There's no go-between No spokesperson Just one on one encounters And Once I catch them offguard with Using one of their assumptions against them In a comedic way I tried to show them What is really like I'm just another human being Just like you I just happen to be in a wheelchair:-)

A Message from your Dog

2006-03-22T03:07:00.000-07:00

Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans 1. Blaming your farts on me... not funny... not funny at all !!!2. Yelling at me for barking.. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose... stop it!5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain. 7. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.9. Dog sweaters. Hello ??? Haven't you noticed the fur? 10. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.Now lay off me on some of these thing's, We both know who's boss here!!! You don't see me picking up your poop do you ???

March Madness

2006-03-20T06:36:00.000-07:00

Most people associate" March madness" with an NCAA basketball month . but here in Colorado it's the weather yesterday morning the sunrise was nice . as you see here but it was the proverbial calm before the storm the first part of the sampling platter of whether it was a 10:45 a.m. high in the weather of 55° the temperature dropped afternoon rainstorm came in light at first and then a hailstorm with medium to large hailstones within 45 minutes it starts into a light snow that stops for about a half hour or so then we start to get severe lightning and thunderstorms by the time I went to sleep last night . it was starting to get cold this morning I wake up to 16° weather closings everywhere , icy roads and 7 inches of snow it's always the last two months of winter that I don't like living here and ironically at today is the first day of spring

You make plans and God laughs at them

2006-03-17T05:44:00.000-07:00

You know the old saying you make plans and God laughs at them . at least that's what my mother used to say I was checking my organizer and scheduled events and pops up week of the 26 of March Craig hospital reevaluation had plans of traveling somewhere else that week but this is a majorly important week for me . Craig hospital has one of the number one in the nation when it comes to spinal cord rehabilitation I didn't do my initial rehabilitation at Craig hospital . I wish I had mine was done at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore , Maryland . when I first moved out here . I was unaware of Craig hospital actually another disabled person had mentioned it to me . we were talking about getting a physical . he mentioned to me . have you ever heard about Craig hospital in Denver vaguely was my response I made an appointment there and talk about opening your eyes to a new world outside of the excellent care they provide they are 100% on top of the latest technology concerning everything from the latest in spinal cord regeneration to the latest gadgets , which I particularly like helping to make your life a little bit easier , and also with the latest information with the living with a disability , which I especially like , because it's more realistic to fit my attitude it's like they're philosophy is you're going to be in this wheelchair for quite a while . you might as well be healthy and happy and productive extremely close to my philosophy of how I live :-) . just like Kennedy Institute in Baltimore , Maryland , and John Hopkins . Craig hospital is connected to another renowned hospital via a tunnel . the Swedish medical Center this may be familiar to some people when the unfortunate events unfolded . here in Colorado with the Columbine massacre with those two teenagers who decided to shoot up a school killing many people and wounding others . Swedish medical Center was the hospital they rush the wounded to so basically when a person like myself with a disability goes up or a week and has a reevaluation and encompasses everything able-bodied person would have done . and he or she's doctors office that mine last week you stay in the outpatient hotels" Sheridan for the disabled" right next to the hospital . the hotels are three-bedroom , all the way down to one bedroom for people who may be coming out of town , bringing their families your first day is the hardest in my opinion you first appointment starts at 8 a.m. and you last appointment is roughly around 4:30 p.m. in between , then you see everyone from a urologist technology you may have MRI done nuclear medicine physical therapy , occupational therapy therapeutic recreation sexuality counseling fertility specialist driving reevaluation . everything you can think of and then some . I enjoy going every year , because it gives me a chance to see old friends and this year I think of going to enjoy doing some sightseeing although when I first got here . I sought out the nightlife . I really haven't had a chance to see the mile high city . I'm always so busy trying to get away from Colorado . sometimes overlook the beauty that is here but sometimes that's the case with people who live in cities that have beautiful sites around them I partially grew up in Washington DC , and it wasn't until I was moving . I decided to take a tour around Washington DC here is the web site and a video link showing you the Craig experienceCraig web site and video have a happy St. Patrick's Day I think of going to going to have green beer tonight Tonight I will be 38 years old in the few weeks and I have never completed a beer don't like the taste . just want to be able to say . I drank green beer on St. Patrick's Day . :-)

Dog's that probably hate their owners

2005-12-15T19:03:00.000-07:00

Can you pass the third grade?

2005-12-15T05:13:00.000-07:00

I got 44 I couldn't figure out what the names of the small states in the Northeast and take note of the clock you are being timed:-)

The Da Vinci Code - Trailer 2

2005-12-15T04:17:00.000-07:00

Robert Langdon is finally getting ready to hop on the big screen . I cannot wait . I've read every one of his books (Dan Brown) , and I'm very happy to see this going to the big screen . if you want to trailer to the movie . it won't give away anything , but I make sure mouth water for the springtime in anticipation of this movie I'm pretty sure you will need to read his previous works such as angels and demons that prequel . if you will do this book , the da Vinci code , but it will give you an understanding of the character . Robert Langdon Professor of iconography , and I'm sure at Tom Hanks will do him justice in portraying him in the movie . when you look at this to you will need apples , QuickTime media player . so be prepared to download it if you have to thank you , Dan for letting me steal this from your web site . :-)

Good Dog, Carl

2005-12-15T03:50:00.000-07:00

I have the honor of owning that me rephrase that spending time with a gentle giant such as this Rottweiler. he was truly my best friend , and he was named in honor after my father " Bubba" my father was a country boy , a provider and a protector after my father's death . my mother and I felt as though we need in the Guard dog to guard a home . Little did we know he would become part of our family and inevitably the embodiment of her husband and my father , a protector I don't think there was a moment that Bubba was not by my side . when I was living in Maryland , and in Miami . people would see us coming down the street and yell" Bubba how are you doing" acknowledging the Dog before they would acknowledge me . but I never get mad or upset . he was like I said , a gentle giant weighing in at 134 pounds . there was a mutual respect , between us after arduous training . I never wanted to own animal that I had to be fearful of especially around children he could be rolling around with one of my nieces and nephews and playing with them like a small puppy even though he was twice , may be three times the size and he knew how big he was oddly enough . never harming or injuring any children is one and only time that he had to use his power was an unfortunate sight to see I was going down to the Metro one day and a drunk and belligerent man started to approach me . he looked by my side and saw Bubba standing right there . I yell to him" please do not come any closer to me" he started to cuss at me . I lowered my hand on Bubba's back . I could feel his muscles tensing up I warned him again . almost pleading" Sir , please do not come any closer" and before I knew it . he was close enough to my wheelchair it seem like it was all over in an instant . I remember closing my eyes when I opened them . the man was standing there , bleeding profusely , Bubba was at my side whimpering and growling almost in regret that he had bitten him out of confusion . not ever being in this predicament . I chastised him the man wandered off , holding his visible mangled right arm . I was so shaken . I have never seen anything like that in my life I could still hear him yelling . "I'm going to sue you and that fucking dog" to my surprise . I did not know that a Washington Metro transit operator was watching this . he came over to me and said , don't be worried . he's always around his starting trouble , he probably will wake up from his drunken stupor and try to figure out what the hell happened to his arm . I apologize to Bubba . it was only doing what came instinctive to him , protecting his family and instead of going on my trip downtown . I turned around and went back home I told my mother what had happened . as a way she could do , she said to me" good for he is black ass I hope you can find him again . so Bubba can bite his ass" she always had a way of putting things . :-) thank you for 13 years of being my friend Bubba , and now I know you're with your namesake , and also your mother , biological and human . I do miss you and I will visit you through this web site your cousins that is because these books are spectacular and they show that all Rottweiler's are bad and bloodthirsty animals it is just the sick owners that turned them into that rest in peace Bubba

Glenn Feron - The Art of Retouching

2005-12-15T03:11:00.000-07:00

Some things are not what they seem. Even superstars need help to look absolutely" perfect".............. thanks for the link Dan

Nostalgic Candy, Wholesale Nostalgic Candy and Retro Candy from Groovy Candies

2005-12-14T13:58:00.000-07:00

If you grew up with Lemonheads and other childhood candies that would drive you to the Dennis this site will bring back memories for you and make your lips happy,,,,P.S thank you for the use of your lips mystery Lady:-)

NASCAR vs's IndyCar

2005-12-14T03:25:00.000-07:00

George Mack only the second African-American to drive at Indy celebrating with his Marc Laider sponsor and owner of 310 motoring check out this site and the client list talk about pimp my ride but you better not show up at his showroom on a budget
Take a look

One of NASCAR's fans showing homage to Dale Earnhardt in his furry and special way
Jeff Gordon one of NASCAR's top drivers seems like a nice . guy to me anyone then owns their own brand of wine and Vineyards can't be half bad it must be a growing trend , because former Indianapolis 500 winner Mario Andretti owns one also http://www.andrettiwinery.com/

I have been a IndyCar racing fan for many years now and in my 20 plus years I have seen the growth of the sport and also the acceptance of many cultures and races , as well as genders , but I still see a thin line that separates NASCAR and Indy 500 racing and that thin line seems to be color . although this was a prank phone call , and it is funny . I'm sure it doesn't reflect each and every one who is a NASCAR fan but it does make you think hmm. I'm not saying I will never attend a NASCAR event but the fan base has to get a little bit broader for me to go . I will admit they are drivers that I've seen interviewed , such as Jeff Gordon who seem to be very nice and bring a touch of class of the sport which in some people's eyes is seen as a good old boy or a redneck sport . but when you listen to the prank phone call , you can understand my hesitation I love hearing a racist almost having an aneurysm :-) http://www.thatvideosite.com/view/1301.html

Kanye West Official Site

2005-12-11T06:09:00.000-07:00

Arrogant, conceded, are just some other words to describe this hip-hop artist , but he lets his work speak for itself . I admire anyone who writes , because I don't do that well myself . :-) , but he writes , without any fear of the repercussions of his words . sometimes that's a good thing , and hip-hop industry . he speaks out about things that are on his mind in the media in my opinion yes . those George Bush comments were a little bit over the top , but he grab your attention , and they look like he was speaking from a heart there are only a handful of hip-hop artist . that will do that because two other hip-hop artist . it's all about HO' S Bitches and money

You will be missed Richard Pryor 1940-2005

2005-12-10T07:23:00.000-07:00

Official Web Site of Richard Pryor, Comedy Legend

A true comedy legend . I like to think that I live my life like an open book but this man truly did . Richard Pryor took you from the trials and tribulations of a divorce to sharing with you how he almost ended his life . all the while making you laugh , he has ripped open his life gave you 3-D glasses and let you look inside His life. if you listen to any comedian . you hear a little bit of Richard Pryor and nine times out of 10 . they will tell you he is the one that started it all for them from Eddie Murphy to Jerry Seinfeld although he lost his battle with MS I'm sure he fought it, his way with laughter I think that is the only way he would want it and I'm sure he did it with the best medicine of all honesty and LAUGHTER I know you and my father are telling. Jokes and laughing it up with Redd Fox you will be missed rests in peace . I will miss you

Sony Pictures - Memoirs Of A Geisha

2005-12-09T03:41:00.000-07:00

My new favorite book now looking forward to seeing the movie just like some people , though . my perception of a geisha that they were" prostitutes" but again , pleasantly surprised they're not and ironically enough sex was the only thing they had a yes or no say in you did not want to be a geisha you are chosen and then train they were Renaissance women walking pieces of art . if you will , trained in every social matter from the art of conversation to having a silent role as a diplomat and what I also found about this particular book . that was surprising . it was written by a 40-year-old white male

News First Online

2005-12-06T22:27:00.000-07:00

Sorry to keep on harping about the weather did I mention it was -3° here . I'm freezing my ass off , check out our local weather

Well it's back to 18°

2005-12-04T10:09:00.000-07:00

Wynn Las Vegas

2005-12-04T10:05:00.000-07:00

Oh My God it doesn't get any better then this talk being treated like a King the only downfall about staying here is you start to recent people with lots and lots of money they can afford this every single day "damn I wish I was a Rockefeller"

Happy birthday to my best friend (Pooh Bear)

2005-12-02T09:51:00.000-07:00

It's your birthday go Tracy we have known one another a longtime if you wrote a book on some of the things I've told you in some of the things I know about you it would be a number one seller I hope you get everything you want on your birthday today I'm sorry I couldn't be there to help you celebrate it you are getting old but I guess you're probably saying I will always be older than you:-)and you look so damn good again happy birthday sweetheart

National Brotherhood of Skiers

2005-11-29T05:26:00.000-07:00

And you thought (''we'' people of color) didn't ski (okay I didn't either :-)) I was first turned on to the brotherhood of skiers back in the mid-nineties when I was living down in Miami by a friend of mine she told me of it and to be quite frankly I didn't believe it but now living here in Colorado Springs it's a great opportunity to get out and network thank you Ella

The vOICe at Tucson 2002

2005-11-26T06:28:00.000-07:00

Fascinating technology for the blind ,I actually found out about this from doing my last Blog listen to the seminar it's a very fascinating tool for the visually impaired . something right out of the comic books and here is the designers web site with the original working product while you are there check out the different demos it really gives you an appreciation for how the blind to see the world through sound Ahh the wonders of modern technology http://www.seeingwithsound.com/

ComingSoon.net - Movie Trailers

2005-11-26T06:04:00.000-07:00

Movie trailers . sometimes the best part of the movie but have you ever wondered what does that woman or man face look like? well . here is your answer http://www.thatvideosite.com/view/1153.html

The Future?

2005-11-25T06:31:00.000-07:00

Either someone failed engineering school or , this is the future of aviation

CBBC Newsround | WORLD | 'I've got the world's longest tongue'

2005-11-24T04:18:00.000-07:00

I really don't have a comment about this , but I reserve the right to comment . after she turns 18 LOL :-)

The Ice Wipe Challenge

2005-11-24T02:57:00.000-07:00

Take the challenge the results are very very interesting Click here to take the challenge

Why Some women Leave Us At Home During Vacation

2005-11-24T02:41:00.000-07:00

Appreciation For Life

2005-11-23T07:27:00.000-07:00

For me having a great appreciation for life is acknowledging death we all know let me rephrase that some people know tomorrow is not a given each day , I awake and taking in my surroundings I am grateful that I have this day given to me yes , there are challenges to go with each day also also pain and heartbreak but I have found out that any good life worth living without those challenges would be very dull personallyI draw from all of the experiences that I have had and look forward to more experiences hopefully good but sometimes you can't have the good without the bed so acknowledging death does not make me sick it is been my experience that individuals that write suicide letters our crying out for help I am far from crying out for help I have a thirst for life and as a friend once told me "you have to have the courage to live before you can be at peace with death"

R.I.P ,,,,,,,,, Tucker

2005-11-21T20:35:00.000-07:00

We are gathered here today to send off our friend Tucker to his heavily mother and father he will now join he was a man with the optimistic attitude despite his handicap concealing most of his pain ,behind a smile never letting anyone in to see the actual pain of many broken hearts he tried as best he could to live his life to the fullest but after trusting one too many times he lost his will to live he always wanted to die with a roomful of children and the grandchildren around his bedside but things did not turn out that way he died the most horrible death you could possibly imagine he died alone no one should ever have to die like this he leaves behind caring friends and family who never really get to know him at all

Hair Hat

2005-11-20T05:53:00.000-07:00

Darain Housen shows off his 'Hairy Hat'

DARAIN HOUSEN HAS not taken off his hat for the last 20 years. He bathes, he sleeps and does everything possible in it. It is a perfect fit. But unlike other hats, his is not made of cloth but from the very hair on his head which is why it cannot be removed. Housen has been sporting his 'Natural Hat' hairstyle for the last 20 years. The 40-year-old Barber who lives in Somerset, St. Thomas, said he came up with the idea after some of his friends decided to wear hats to a party but he could not find one to wear. Housen said the morning after the party he clipped the rough edges and then for six months he kept growing the 'peak' but since then he has not made major changes to his 'Hat'.

FLIRT WITH DANGER
The 'hat' has shocked and awed everyone including Policemen, Tourists and Judges. Housen said that he was once stopped by a Policeman while coming from a dance early one morning who insisted that he removed it. On another occasion Housen said he was ordered by a Judge to take off his 'hat' while on jury duty.
Housen said people from all over the Island have taken photos with him but while he has become quite an attraction he has never charged a fee to touch his hair or have a photo of it taken. There is no doubt about Housen's fame as when THE STAR was searching for him in order to do the interview the team only had to mention 'the man with the hair hat' and we were pointed to where we could find him.

PatRobertson.com

2005-11-19T05:33:00.000-07:00

This man should get a lifetime achievement award in being a ASSHOLE I'm not a Christian . but he has to embarrass individuals who follow the Christian faith , I bet he probably makes the pope want to bitch slap him check out his views via this link www.thatvideosite.com/view/1143.html

Meet disabled singles - fun friendly online disabled dating community -- chat live now or browse the disability forums -- make new friends

2005-11-19T04:05:00.000-07:00

I'm surprised pleasantly surprised . I just found this web site , and I must admit when something like this would come around . but I guess which the Internet look, and you shall find I'm not a member yet , but I will let you know if I decided to become one

Oakland Raiders

2005-11-19T03:47:00.000-07:00

The most feared the most hated the craziest fans . these all words used to describe when you're talking about the Oakland Raiders and their fans . especially their fans . I have lived the few places in my life , and seen rivalries with football teams but I have seen nothing like the rivalry between the Denver Broncos (annoying fans) and the Oakland Raiders (scary fans) . the Oakland Raiders fans are amongst the most dedicated and scary that I have ever seen I have a friend named Ron , who is a diehard Oakland Raiders fan . I mean , the whole 9 yards , begins his sentences with "we" you know the type wears a Raiders hat every day simply a diehard fan . last Sunday , when the Broncos spanked the Raiders . a friend of mine called him just to give him a little ribbing and you would have thought she was calling someone who just lost their best friend in a horrible car accident I guess I will never be able to understand what it is to be a true fan . I've moved so many places that I'd just like to see a good football game between two teams doesn't matter who when I was living in DC . I try to get on the bandwagon of the Redskins and must admit being a fan of the Redskins back in the nineties was pretty gratifying for African-American seen Doug Williams . the first African-American quarterback to go to the Super Bowl was really nice and I'm glad I was there in that area . when it happened , seeing them come home watching the parades on television , because of my memory serves me correctly . it was raining cats and dogs . when they came home , and also very cold . but then moving to Miami football was more of a place to go to relax . I saw my first live game their my cousin was playing for the Dolphins at the time . so when someone says hey , you want a ticket . free ticket at that to go sit in a stadium with 78° weather eat really good foods it's really hard to say no . so I have admiration for the true fan's anyone willing to pay the crazy prices of tickets to a sporting event these days , and go stand in a line in the cold and back their team . my hat is off to you GO!! Whenever team , you support , because it takes a lot to be a fan these days

Garden of the Gods History

2005-11-18T05:28:00.000-07:00

A lovely place to visit , strangely enough . when you go there , you can hear everything for miles and miles it's so quiet . it is beautiful in the fall , and also makes a nice place for a romantic dinner at sunset . but don't try to stay any longer after sunset . you will freeze your booty off

Michael Baisden, The Bad Boy of Radio, Best Selling Author, Motivational Speaker

2005-11-18T05:20:00.000-07:00

Hometown radio , at least for me try to catch this man's show if you can . if you're not in DC you can access the show . from this web site , his topics are pretty interesting , and I must admit . he is pretty interesting to listen to thank you for turning me on to him Kim . :-)

Congratulations on your new home

2005-11-17T18:59:00.000-07:00

Congratulation big brother&sister-in-law now you know when spring comes around Daddy Will expect you to have that front and back lawn in tiptop condition

The Power Of Makeup

2005-11-17T12:29:00.000-07:00

OK ,he may not be made up because personally I think he's alien but the rest are pretty rough
Madonna
Britney Spears
Christina Applegate
Cameron Diaz
Alicea Silverstone
Pamela Anderson

Christina Aguilera

I Miss my Mother and Father

2005-11-15T22:12:00.000-07:00

Hello mother and father I'm missing you so much right now it's not a day that goes by that I don't think about you to I know you're looking down on me and see the things that I'm going through I try to apply everything you taught me when you were alive it's funny when you were walking the Earth I was a knucklehead and sometimes , you probably thought I never listened to you but I did and now that you are gone and exist only in my dreams and in my heart I can hear your voices everyday I hope you see everything that I achieve and I hope it makes you proud of me and when I falter I hope you send your support from heaven Mama I wish I could feel your loving embrace when my heart is broken and tell me that everything is going to be OK and Daddy I wish I could hear your strong voice telling me''buddyroll' keep your head up I'm trying I really am some days are harder than others and father you oldest son is looking so much like you and mother would be very happy and proud of him and your daughter is doing well you would be proud of her also she is a great grandmother I just wanted to you that I really do miss you. and I love you so much

Clean Joke

2005-11-15T05:52:00.000-07:00

It is hard to find a good clean joke these days without a dirty word or two in it, but here is one: Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree He replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in." Wipe that smile off your face!

Colorado Springs, Colorado (80901) Forecast : Weather Underground

2005-11-15T05:40:00.000-07:00

Colorado Springs, Colorado (80901) Forecast : Weather Underground
Sometimes I wonder why I live here . it is currently 14° outside , but then by the weekend . it's going to be in the fifties strange weather . when I first moved out here everyone I ran into had a tendency to say the same thing every time of the weather was bad" if you don't like the weather . wait five minutes , and it will change" than never said it was going to change for the worse . or it was going to change for the better . I know one thing . I'm freezing my ass off right now

Bill Cosby: Himself (1983)

2005-11-14T06:29:00.000-07:00

Bill Cosby: Himself (1983)

Not all of my comedic taste are raunchy , I respect and medians who choose to work without profanity , and I still find it funny . very funny comedians like David Atkins , a.k.a. Sinbad and Bill Cosby . I really do enjoy . I remember Sunday mornings , waking up to rush down stairs to watch fat Albert and the gang . my mother especially liked Bill Cosby , slightly ironic because my mother had a mouth like a sailor and could insult you 17 different ways with a smile on her face . but she would sit down and watch this particular comedy tape and laugh and laugh and I must admit . it was family entertainment , we could invite people over to watch this . it was a very true to life view on family life , with no profanity . I appreciate that

Redd Foxx

2005-11-14T06:21:00.000-07:00

Another blue comedian I was very sad to see how his life finally unfolded because he was as a great comedian . my earliest memories of red fox were of sneaking down stairs . just out of my parents view and listening to dirty words back then , I didn't really know how funny , he was . they were just cuss words , but as I got older . I'll learn to appreciate his humor its funny how age and maturity makes you want to look back on things that your parents did and want to embrace what they found entertaining . I can remember my father , cracking out laughing at red fox is humor Daddy . I completely understand now , this man was funny as hell , and I'm sure you and Mr. Fox are having a good time in heaven telling dirty jokes and laughing your asses off

George Carlin.com Starting Up...

2005-11-14T06:07:00.000-07:00

George Carlin.com Starting Up...

Another comedy legend . his brand of in-your-face humor has kept me in stitches for years and I especially like his view on Catholicism and other subjects . if you get a chance listen to his revise version of the 10 Commandments

Official Site of Dave Chappelle | Coming Soon

2005-11-14T05:15:00.000-07:00

Official Site of Dave Chappelle | Coming Soon

another one of my favorite comedians , just like everyone else I was disappointed when he stopped doing his show on Comedy Central . I hope he has a change of heart and decides to come back to doing television or even HBO something like that , where he can be uncensored , but I'm glad he is doing well and continuing with his standup tour

Carlos Mencia

2005-11-14T05:03:00.000-07:00

Carlos Mencia

This guy is funny as hell . my friend Crystal turned me on to him . I saw a few of his comedy skits , online and also on the comedy Channel . but I never knew his standup was as funny as it is . she was telling me that he's due to come to Colorado Springs . hopefully I will get a chance to go see him . and here is a sample of his standup routine (warning listening discretion is advised)

- maryland.gov

2005-11-13T03:56:00.000-07:00

- maryland.gov

It's where I was born . I tell you some days I miss the seafood there , like crazy . another one of my destinations to return to

Miami

2005-11-13T03:54:00.000-07:00

City of Miami - Official City of Miami Website

The city that I love , and no hurricane can keep me from her I will see all you guys down there . around Christmastime

The Power Of Money

2005-11-06T07:57:00.000-07:00

Joke of the day "are you the Doctor"

2005-11-06T07:45:00.000-07:00

A father walks into a book store with his young son. The boy is holding a quarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts panicking, shouting for help. A well dressed, attractive and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the book store. Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the quarter, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand. Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat in he coffee bar without saying a word. As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?" "No," the woman replied. "DIVORCE ATTORNEY".

Batman Begins

2005-11-06T05:05:00.000-07:00

Batman Begins

I saw this movie last night , and in my opinion , it was really good . my friend likes the campy version better you know , with the over exaggerated throwing punches with a large colorful text . but this one was more believable , if there had to be a person like Batman this movie lets you see how he could conceivably exist with all of his gadgets (supplied by Morgan Freeman) . for me and answered questions like , how did the bat Cave get under Bruce Wayne's house? Where did he get his money from? How he is he able to fight all those people , and never get hurt? I won't spoil the ending , but I hope there are sequels to this

Sometimes The little guy Has to take a stand

2005-11-04T03:31:00.000-07:00

Tell me how you really feel:-)

Fire Sunrise In Colorado Springs

2005-11-02T05:28:00.000-07:00

The one thing I've learned to appreciate living here in Colorado Springs are the spectacular sunrises in October

The Official Site of the Colorado Avalanche

2005-11-02T05:26:00.000-07:00

The Official Site of the Colorado Avalanche

In my endeavor to take in new things and new experiences . I'm going to try to make a serious effort this year to try to appreciate Colorado avalanche hockey if you listen to all the jokes and stereotypes . this is something my people (African-American) normally do not participate in but I was pleasantly surprised to found out . there is an African-American goalie that plays for the NHL . my problem sometimes is the puck is moving so fast I never know where it is on the ice I remember many years ago , when the ratings were sagging and the NHL was trying to get more viewers you could watch a hockey game from home , and they digitally highlighted the puck with a blue streaking affect . who knows maybe at the end of the year . I will be avalanche Fan and a Denver Broncos fan . let me rephrase that some Denver Bronco have a tendency to get on my nerves with the proverbial" we" that is a major pet peeve of mine second to speaking in the third person and also the dedication of some of these individuals is mind-boggling call me spoiled but I could never enjoy sitting in a open stadium with the temperature at 38° and dropping and enjoy a football game . Miami football is so much more relaxing at 75° in a pair of shorts watching a football game . life can't get any better :-)

Joke Of The Day (Wal-Mart)

2005-11-02T05:00:00.000-07:00

Only at WalMart One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him," My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at WalMart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars....... a lot cheaper than a doctor. So Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to WalMart. He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and Epson's Salt. (Aisle 8) And avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart. That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe begins wondering if the computer can be fooled. He mixes some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following: 1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9) 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7) 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better. Thank you for shopping at WalMart

MUHAMMAD ALI - The Greatest Of All Time

2005-11-01T22:43:00.000-07:00

MUHAMMAD ALI - The Greatest Of All Time

He truly is the greatest of all time

SuperHead

2005-10-31T18:38:00.000-07:00

For all of you who like spicy tell-all books this video vixen has spilled the beans http://socialitelife.com/mt/archives/superhead_whore_to_tell_all.php

Mrs. Jessica Alba Goes Topless

2005-10-31T00:00:00.001-07:00

She said she would never do it

but I guess everyone has their price

Topless Photographs Jessica Alba Click here to Check out the photo (Adult Content)

The Death Clock

2005-10-31T00:00:00.000-07:00

It is that time of the year when we put on scary mask and costumes, to scare the hell out of one another want to see when you're time is up click on the link happy trick-or-treat Day
http://www.deathclock.com/

MSN.com

2005-10-28T16:34:00.000-06:00

MSN.com

George Bush and Google, Failure?

2005-10-28T03:52:00.000-06:00

The next time you're surfing the Web go on Google and type in the Word failure then click on " I'm feeling lucky" search option to some of you the results are not surprising but it is funny and at the same time . a sad commentary on the administration I wonder what the people over in some other far off foreign land are googleing?

And You Thought They Were Joking

2005-10-27T23:16:00.000-06:00

So the next time you see a sign that says no parking I bet you will think twice

S.O.B Defined

2005-10-27T23:13:00.000-06:00

The Jackson's On Vacation

2005-10-27T23:10:00.000-06:00

Sleeping Computers

2005-10-27T15:06:00.000-06:00

Have You ever wondered what your computer does when you go to sleep or leave the office .
http://www.toilette-humor.com/computer-at-night.html

New rule, Supermodel's should not be talkshow host

2005-10-21T09:46:00.000-06:00

In my opinion supermodels should not be talk show host I've seen her show on several different occasions now and I have tried to give it a chance but your guests should not be more interesting than you and if your guests are more interesting than you should not bore the audience with antidotes of ''what happened when you were a top model '' or for that matter breakout episodes from a television show , you just happened to host also (America's next top model) for no reason don't get me wrong I like Tyra Banks but I like looking at her more I don't know her personality I only can't speak about what I see and what I see is a very needy individuals seeking attention I'm very happy that she showed America that her breasts are real (oh my goodness they had the nerve to put that second to hurricane Katrina) but seriously I'm very impressed with her work with young children especially young girls and their self-esteem http://www.tzonefoundation.org/ and her work with other charities also but she is knocking down these different genres for instance acting(not so good) singing career(when down faster than the Hindenburg) I really hope I'm wrong with this blog maybe I will look back on it a few years from now and she will be the next Oprah Winfrey but in my opinion this supermodel should not be a talkshow host "I need to get a life":-)

The Colorado Renaissance Festival 2005

2005-10-20T10:04:00.000-06:00

The 2005 Renaissance Festival in Colorado Springs
This is a Medieval Horse Puppeteer (there is actually one guy under all of this and it was 89° that day)
This guy was a Mongolian Dragon slayer (I did not know there was a difference)he told me it took him a year to design this costume and he handmade it
Xavier&with The evil Knight(he really was a cool guy)
Home Page

I highly recommend going to the Renaissance Festival at lease once especially if you like to people watch such as I do sometimes at first you have to get used to the people in character calling you" my lord or my lady" but then you get really into the flavor of a whole medieval times thing and start imagining what it would be like to be a Knight the whole time I was there I could not stop thinking about the movie Black Knight , starring Martin Lawrence . it was a really great experience I look forward to going to it every year

Obituary

2005-10-20T07:40:00.000-06:00

Today we mourn the passing
of a beloved old friend by the name of
Common Sense
who has been with us for many years.
No one knows for sure how old he was
since his birth records were long ago
lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered
as having cultivated such value lessons as
knowing when to come in out of the rain,
why the early bird gets the worm and
that life isn't always fair.
Common Sense
lived by simple, sound financial policies
(don't spend more than you earn)
and reliable parenting strategies
(adults, not kids, are in charge).
His health began to rapidly deteriorate
when well intentioned but overbearing regulations
were set in place.
Reports of a six-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment
for kissing a classmate;
teens suspended from school
for using mouthwash after lunch;
and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student,
only worsened his condition.
It declined even further
when schools were required to get parental consent
to administer aspirin to a student;
but, could not inform the parents
when a student became pregnant
and wanted to have an abortion.
Finally, Common sense lost the will to live
as the Ten Commandments became contraband;
churches became businesses;
and criminals received better treatment
than their victims.
Common Sense finally gave up the ghost
after a woman failed to realize
that a steaming cup of coffee was hot,
she spilled a bit in her lap,
and was awarded a huge settlement
Common Sense
was preceded in death
by his parents, Truth and Trust,
his wife, Discretion;
his daughter, Responsibility;
and his son, Reason.
He is survived by two stepbrothers;
My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral
because so few realized he was gone.
If you still know him pass this on,
if not join the majority and do nothing.

A Pop Star , not a popout star (Ciara)

2005-10-18T11:24:00.000-06:00

You would think with the money she makes she could afford a seamstress

Hurricane Survival Kit (the things you absolutely must have)

2005-10-17T10:40:00.000-06:00

Hurricane Survival Kit
Toilet Paper........................................check
Bud Light...........................................check
Keystone Ice........................................check
Budweiser...........................................check
Red Dog.............................................check
Misc. other bottles of alcohol......................check
Piece of plywood to float your old lady and booze on...check
Next time let's all be more prepared.

Diary Of A Mad Toddler

2005-10-16T08:52:00.000-06:00

My life is very complex as a toddler sometimes I think my parents just all understand how hard it is to get on their nerves but that is my job and I do it very well just take a look at my schedule 5:45 a.m. I wake up and bother Mommy that is a prerequisite any toddler knows you must bother Mommy first thing in the morning oh darn she looks like he's getting mad I guess I will go see what my older sister is doing she says she's going this"I'm getting ready for school thing"I don't understand she didn't do it Saturday and Sunday 6:00 a.m. I'm getting hungry but I guess I will go bother Daddy for a while he always makes funny faces to make me laugh so I just kick back in his lap for a while I see why my uncle likes to sit it's pretty cool but he has a big stroller I'm still trying to understand why he never stands up like Daddy but it really doesn't matter . I love him Mommy and Daddy say that I can ask him anything I want to when I start to talk but right now I'm saving these years for yelling 6:45 a.m.I'm getting hungry Mommy there's no reason I should not be eating 646a.m.that Mommy of mine can make a good breakfast yumm too bad , she's going to have to clean up my mess she says that I'm going to have to start doing this when I get older and have kids of my own what the heck is she talking about I don't even know how I got here 7 a.m.it's time for the greatest entertainer on earth Elmoooooooooo!! Who did you think I was going to say Barney he is so last year he's for lil lil Kid's they need to grow up 7:30 a.m.I have to go bother my sisters some more before they go to school 9:45 a.m. Mommy and Daddy just bought a new vacuum cleaner I'm going to go bother the best part of it the box that it came in you know , I don't know who invented the box but she must've been a genius I remember last Christmas when Santa Claus came in left presents there were so many boxes to play with i was in heaven and I have to take my hat off to those elves wrapping paper is the best thing in the world don't tell Mommy and Daddy this or Santa Claus I'm just getting interested in playing with the toy's they came in those wrappers and boxes this year , I'm hoping for more boxes and toys 10:46 a.m. I haven't quite got the potty thing down come on accidents do happen I noticed when me and Mommy went shopping one day they have the same things that I am trying to stop wearing and they have them for adults I don't understand adults why is Mommy and Daddy trying to potty trained me when I'm only going to have to wear them again adults are strange people 11:00 a.m. naptime a toddler needs her sleep but I can't understand on the weekends , when Daddy is off why he takes naps all of time I don't know why Mommy does all the work here in the house I think when he goes away every day he goes to adult school or something like my sisters but he calls it work I have to look more into this work thing 12:15 p.m. I must've been really tired that naptime went over by 15 minutes the Mommy individual should've woken me up . I have things to do 12:30 p.m. lunchtime late lunch because of the Mommy individual did not wake me up but I think she is making up for it by making me chicken fingers I love chicken fingers but there is something that I cannot figure out when I watch the greatest entertainer in the world (Elmo) and he has me counting chickens with him I never see any hands on the chickens let alone the fingers and when we go to MacDonell's and I have chicken McNuggets where are the Nuggets on the chicken? I guess that's one of life's oddities but they are quite tasty 1:45 p.m. playtime outdoors Mommy and I go outside when they're nice days out here in Carolina I love my tricycle but Mommy likes to collect pinecones another one of life's oddities 3:01 p.m.my goodnesswhat is the Mommy individual thinking it was hot out there she knows that I will play with shadow as many times as I throw the ball he will go getit silly dog 3:30 p.m. my sisters are home I have someone new to torment 5:30 p.m. ahhhhh I love one Mommy does my hair because I'm pretty so pretty 6:01 p.m. boy , I sure am hungry 6:02 p.m. like I said before that Mommy individual sure cooks a good dinner 6:25 p.m. we look at my fathers brother on this Internet thing I'm not really sure how it works I just sit and Daddy is lap and look at the screen he's kind of funny looking like my Daddy he makes funny faces but I ignore him and act like I don't see him when he's not looking I smile I've never seen him in person but I look forward to meeting him and riding in his wheelchair 7:00 p.m. this toddler is tired I think I will do all my grumpy routines you know cry like a baby,start fights with my sister,bother shadow,and ultimately get in trouble selecting, really close to getting a spanking then it is off to bed for me:-) I have to get my beauty rest because I have to do all this over again tomorrow:-) I love being a toddler

Why Men Shouldn't Babysit

2005-10-12T08:35:00.000-06:00

Kool-Aid - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

2005-10-12T07:03:00.000-06:00

HEY nephew OH YEAHHHHHHHHHH

Kool-Aid - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

If you grew up middle-class or unfortunately , very poor . you knew Kool-Aid . you also knew that Strawberry wasn't a flavor red was when someone would ask you what kind of Kool-Aid , would you want to drink , you would probably reply with" I'll have some red" :-) and not many people know that my nephew has taken the place of the Kool-Aid Man with his big beautiful a big grin on his face just kidding little nephew . I love you

Hooters.com

2005-10-12T05:24:00.000-06:00

Hooters.com

I just realized something , they sell food here oh my goodness . :-) and all this time I've been going there to look at scantily clad women come on guys . at least I admit it :-) . I guess you're one of those men who only buys Playboy for the articles sure right :-)

Buckwheat Strikes Back

2005-10-11T03:22:00.000-06:00

Little Buckwheat>>A teacher in a one-room schoolhouse arrives one morning to find a nice red apple on her desk with a tag tied to it saying T.O.T. Knowing that she had some not-so-nice pranksters in her class, she cautiously asked "Can someone explain what T.O.T. means?" Mary in the front row raised her hand to explain it means "To Our Teacher." The next morning the teacher finds a bigger and prettier apple than the day before. This time there is a tag with T.O.T.W.L. written on it. She asks for an explanation for this note and little Johnny waves his hand to explain That means "To Our Teacher With Love"The next morning she arrives to find a great big ass watermelon sitting on her desk with a tag saying "F.U.C.K.".Her jaw drops and she screams "Who can explain this?"Little Buckwheat in the back row raises his hand and says, that means"From>Us Colored Kids!"