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Idiots of 2007

I don’t know if these are true…but they’re funny!


Number One Idiot of 2007
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
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Number Two Idiot of 2007
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing. Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
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Number Three Idiot of 2007
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.' While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
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Number Four Idiot of 2007
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that; measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40. Wise guy........ But you still get a sign
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Number Five Idiot of 2007
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, 'Because I don't believe you are over 21.' The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber th at he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later. This guy definitely needs a sign.
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Idiot Number Six of 2007
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. This guy doesn't even deserve a sign.
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Idiot Number Seven of 2007
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.
The whole event was caught on videotape. Yep, here's your sign
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Idiot Number Eight of 2007
I live in a semi-rural area. (Weyauwega, Wisconsin) We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! - I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.' From Kingman, KS.
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If You Die, I Lose Money

Well I hate to put it so harshly, but that's the point that I was trying to get across to my friend today basically about a month and a half ago when the second generation of iPhone's was introduced to the public by Steve Jobs. Some people noticed that he was a little bit thinner than his last appearance(back story. Steve Jobs has had cancer and survived it once)well, this started rumors amongst the financial community analysts started calling into question his health when the Apple Corp. was contacted about Steve Jobs health. They were apply was. "It's a private matter"... this type of statement to analysts and investors will inevitably cause his stock to go downas my friend debated today what business is it of the public to know his health. As long as there are competent people behind the scenes, what difference does it makeI told her that it makes a big difference with certain companies as an investor and a trader I want to know that the person that I invest in their company is 100% mentally and physically capable of doing his or her job. And I don't want him or her doing anything to jeopardize my money in Steve Jobs case. Yes, there are 30,000 capable engineers and researchers to carry on the job. If God forbid something was to happen to himbut I told her. When you invest in Apple. You invest in a culture. There are millions of people who use iPhone's iPod Mac books and everything Steve Jobs he is for all intents purposes AppleI told her it would be different if it was Exxon Ross Department stores. TJ Maxx, because the public doesn't associate any of those CEOs with a face and at any of these CEOs could probably have an unfortunate demise and the company would run like clockworkBut Steve Jobs on the other hand God forbid if something were to happen to him most of the Macintosh users think that he is downstairs in his basement in drawing up design after design, and then he appears like some magical wizard to give you these cool gadgets. So, heaven forbid if something were to happen to him. The stock price would plummetso what do you think, if you are heavily invested in a company, should the health of the person running the company be public knowledge?

How to Travel by Cargo Ship

The Traveller's Notebook has a fascinating guide to travelling by cargo ship. I didn't realise that it was possible to travel by cargo ship, at least comfortably. It's not cheap though. It can cost between $80-$140 a day.
And if you are feeling adventurous you can travel around the world. The trip takes between 110-120 days and takes you to Papeete in Tahiti, various sparsely populated and unspoiled islands in the South Pacific, New Zealand, Papua New Guinea, Indonesia, Singapore then via the Suez Canal, before returning to Europe. There isn't a price listed on the website but it's probably not cheap.

Windows Vista... It's Not That Bad

Okay I will admit I was just like everyone else scared to death to give up Windows XP. I mean, it was reliable. It had already been around all the bugs were worked out not to mention all the horror stories. I had read and heard about Windows Vista being a nightmare but about two months ago. When I ordered my new laptop I started using Windows Vista and I can personally say it's not that bad. I haven't had any crashes. I really don't have to worry about losing data, because I don't keep any information on my laptop. All of my files that are really important to me are in two 500 GB storage centers that I can access anywhere, because they are on my home networkbut overall Vista is pretty smooth. I like the way you can toggle between pages with the pages looking like a three-dimensional simulation. Like in that movie minority report, and as far as maintenance. Its maintenance free defrag your computer or cleaning out old files manually is something you don't have to worry about Vista does it automaticallyI will admit the only thing that got on my nerves while I first started using Vista there is a safety feature that keeps you from deleting files accidentally while Vista will ask you about three times what they pop up message. If you really want to do it that took a bit getting used tobut from reading the articles I can disable thatI think Microsoft made the mistake of releasing Vista one year too soon. I feel bad for those people who were the first in line to pick up one of these copies and not wait till the bugs were worked outI'm thinking about getting a desktop, one of those all-in-one deals. Also XPS and Vista will also be on that toPS I was a coffee shop and I ask to look over this woman's shoulder while she was on her Mac book I'm sorry. I simply don't understand the appeal of Macintosh operating system

What the Frak is going on?

Just like 24. I was Johnny-come-lately to the new season of Battle Star Galactica. Actually, I started watching it about two years ago. I would catch an episode here and there, but I never really got into it just like 24



and just like with 24 I rented an season from Blockbuster spent the weekend watching it (I love back to back television with no commercial) and I was hooked. The first thing you notice is the robots don't look like they did when I was growing up. You know the ones back in the 70s with the red light blazing back and forth. They still exist, but the ones that mostly interact with humans look like the photograph above... and they love sex and are fully capable of snapping your neck... just like one of them did in the first episode. She saw a human baby was really curious asked the woman "could she hold it"... then just like that. She snapped the poor baby's neck and put it back in the stroller and walked off as if it was nothing



DAMN... but I guess that's the way the writers of the show want you to know although the the robots are not clunky with steel and have a red blazing eyeball. They are very lethal killing machines. Just like their brethren, they just have sexy skin covering them



and speaking of sexy. That's one thing that I've noticed in watching the episodes. The new Battle Star Galactica is heavily female driven Starbuck is a pilot Jock, who believes in drinking with the guys screwing the guys and occasionally going toe to toe with a serious right hook. She has no qualms about back talking her superior officers waiting for them to punch her out all the while. She is packing a right hook of her own and not afraid to use it. Even though she is often thrown in the brig after punching out one of her male officers or female



the bathrooms and living quarters aboard the Galactica are coed and you will often find yourself doing a double take were in my case rewinding the DVD because I knew I saw a nipple. And yes it was attached to a woman :-)... I did not know they can get away with this on basic cable. :-)



and the president of the fleeing colonies is also a woman, who is borderline power-hungry and dictatorial and uses her presidential authority to throw people out of airlocks. If she is not satisfied with their information



but I must admit, this series is heavy on characters and storyline. They really don't have a big budget for Star Wars type space battle scenes and you can tell. But the storyline and characters more than make up for the week to the average special effects



as my friend was telling me last night. That's probably why it appeals to so many women as she says. "Guys like to see things blown up." Women want to know why was it blown up?"... I think she may have a point



oh, and I forgot the language and the violence did I mention sex :-)... apparently on Battle Star Galactica everyone likes to cuss. So instead of saying Fuck or Fucking that word is replaced by Frak!! One any episode you can count how many times Frak is used up into the hundreds even during the sex scenes... Frak me for Frak harder!!



The only thing about being Johnny-come-lately with series like this that you realize are good. After you watch back to back episodes is sometimes it's the last and final season. Such is the case with 24 (but they are already talking about making that a theatrical movie)... and this is the final season for Battle Star Galactica... oh well I guess I will find another television series in a box set... I heard something about a program called Gray's anatomy. I wonder what that about? LOL

No Tears for This King

Today was always a hard day for my mother when she was alive. Today is the 40th anniversary of the assassination of Martin Luther King. My mother would always say this was a bittersweet day for her bitter because she knew where she was when she heard the news of Dr. King's assassination. I can only imagine her grief in my eyes. My mother was a strong woman, and I had only seen her cry. One time



that was the morning of the launch of the space shuttle Challenger. I was home from school that morning and was obsessed with watching the shuttle launch. She was in the kitchen, watching her television by this time, all of the major networks had stopped broadcasting the launch of the space shuttles. So I watched it on public television. The shuttle launched on time, rolled on its back, and in the words still haunt me "Challenger. You have permission for throttle up!! There was a pop in the sky rained down with parts of the Challenger



I screamed to my mother. "Mama the space shuttle just blew up!!... stop playing stew!"... as she turned to the channel by now every network had started broadcasting it by the time I got into the kitchen. She had tears streaming down her face. There were no words from her mouth. Just silence and eerie silence...



that was the most devastating thing my generation had seen up until the terrorist attacks on 9/11. But every year, looking back at April 4. I wonder what my mother's generation was going through and their leader was struck down by an assassin's bullet I can only imagine the devastation she felt. She never really talked about it. She just told me that I was the sweet part in this bittersweet day because I was born two weeks later to the day. She would ask me "Tucker, how old are you boy!"... I would say my age, and then she would tell me "do you know that two weeks ago to the day. They murdered a king."... as children often do, I would ask that inevitable question that sometimes has no answers... why. Why did they do that... her reply was always "I don't know sweetheart I will never understand man's inhumanity to man"...



by this time my father would be around and he would say "but you don't grieve for that man. He was never afraid to die that's right son good old Martin was probably looking right at that cracker. When he pulled the trigger and Martin was probably laughing, because Martin knew his work was done, because you can't kill a journey that we have to take"...



so a few weeks ago I ordered this documentary that you see above, because I want to get in the mindset I want to feel what my parents felt. It's an incredible documentary, probably the best one I have ever seen but it left me asking more questions. Not of the documentary about my mother and father



what would they think today 40 years later, we have a black man and a white woman almost steps from ascending to the highest office. It just seems so surreal watching white police officers make their dogs attack black people. And now 40 years later, things have changed so much. At least from my perspective, I can only imagine if they were alive, including Dr. King would what they think



I know one thing I do have my fathers in my brother's state of mind I don't fear death I don't fear any man. I don't know if it's because I'm getting older or I'm becoming more like the men I admire... so today for me as my father told me will be no tears for Dr. King. Just a deep admiration and a silent prayer

The Scent of This Man

They say the second association to an actual memory is smell. I guess that's true, because every time I smell that peach smelling perfume and the pink bottle (and I can't think of the name) I automatically think of my first girlfriend. It's almost like your mind freezes up and transports back to the year you met her. I can almost hear her say her name right there on Haines point in Washington, DC... but anyway I digress. LOL I guess the same holds true for women as a matter of fact, I know this. It's a scientific fact that women's olfactory senses are far better than us male's well. It only follows to reason why you are a finely tuned gift from God, if only he gave you the ability to sniff out bad relationships. Okay I'm getting off of track. That's a whole another story... had a doctor Phil phone session this weekend... Tucker. I hate him... Tucker. He never pays attention to me... Tucker he takes me for granted... but I digress ANYWAY, back to smell... I pretty much have been wearing the same colognes since my teenage years Obsession, Gray flannel, Passion for men by Elizabeth Taylor, they've always worked for me especially Calvin Klein's obsession. I don't have to use that much (big brother's rule number one. "When you can still smell your Colón you have one too much of it") three shots to the body. My left shoulder my chest and my thigh... don't ask me why but judging by yesterday's Easter company. It still works that sigh of the woman makes followed by some random Spanish that I didn't understand was all the approval I needed :-) but it did get me to thinking. I have been so routine, and these three fragrances that I haven't tried anything new. I know from researching different companies every day for my stocks, that the perfume industry is a billion-dollar industry. People like to smell good. Thank God :-) I'm about to turn 40 in a few weeks, and I'm looking for opinions, and we all know, if you want someone's opinion the Internet is full of them. So what is your favorite fragrance or Colón, if you're a man, what works for you if you're a woman. What makes your knees weak... LOL I've heard so many strong opinions about smell on a man from "I would rip his clothes off right there and do him because he smelled so good"... to "he reminded me of my father when he walked by me and I smelled him"... that last one I don't know is good or bad, but maybe I'm tying things into sex... it wouldn't be the first time and it won't be the last time. Remember I'm turning 40 in a few weeks I will officially be a dirty old man. :-). So back to the question at hand what is your favorite fragrance or Colón on a man. What is that scent, that takes you there know where you're going I don't know. I just want to know what takes you there. LOL :-)

It's Too Late for Heroes

It's 2008 and I think people have realized that as my mother used to say "the cavalry ain't coming baby. You have to help yourself, but if you remember the words that I taught you. You will find your way"... and I think that's where America is now the time for Vietnam heroes running for president and past war heroes are over.

True leaders have stepped up, and they lead by example, not by their words they don't own football teams. Or have married out of convenience for a personal gain. That would benefit them years later, they lead the people they care for with compassion and understanding because they want the best for their daughters wives, brothers and sisters. They want to be able to look at young child in the face and tell that child. I'm going to bring your father home from Iraq without following up those words with, but the boogie man is going to come and get you if he comes home to soon and if that is the case and the bogeyman does come. The leader will have enough wisdom heart and courage to first talk and find out why do you want to hurt my people and if the bogeyman's words are not suitable for the leader then only will the leader in engage him in to the ultimate act of force. A war, and it will not be fought from a revenge or vendetta. It will be fought, regretfully, and humbly, because lives will be lost and if it is fought. It's because the people asked our leader to protect us from harm, not mysterious weapons of mass distraction.

It's time that our country grow up. Yes, we are a young country by the world standards. Just in our infancy of only 200 years or more. We have wronged our own people killed our own brothers raped our own sisters and mothers experimented on our fellow brother like a guinea pig assassinated. Other leaders. The list goes on of the atrocity of man's inhumanity to man but now we are entering into a time in our lives. When black white Chinese Asian Puerto Rican Cuban African and many other ethnic backgrounds can be one person. So it's harder to hate, what looks like you

And this small speck of a planet that is dwarfed by planets much larger and with much more angrier climates than ours that occurred naturally. It's not that bad of a place. We don't need a hero to lead us out of this place we just need a leader to help us fix the ones that were on we need to take care of our homeless. We need to educate our own children. We need to show them that before we look up into the stars and dream of traveling the galaxy for work must start here first. We must be willing to help our own neighbor. We need to grow up and be self sufficient. Again like we once were we already know what bad we can do on this planet. We have the capability to wipe out a small town if we wanted, but it's much harder to redesign what you already have. But once it's done. Not only will we benefit of the whole world will the one consistent thing in our country's history. And in mankind's history is change. I think the time is now. I don't think were going to get a second chance. And like I said, we don't need another hero individually we are strong enough together we are our own heroes.

CAUTION Ass Whooping inside Costume!!

I know this guy will probably never tell this story, to his grandkids LOL, because being beat up by a group of mascots is not the most macho thing in the world to tell your grandkids or for that matter anyone. I wonder what he did to tick them off, and how is that conversation going to go. When he has to explain all the bumps and bruises to someone. "See what happened was, a group of superhuman alien mascots were backstage at this concert one day, and they caught me off guard and one of them want to of them got in a good punch!" :-) LOL, but check out the video. I'm sorry for the man's's pain, but it just makes me laugh to even want to this I guess he forgot whether it be a funny looking teddy bear goat or what have you there still is a person inside. That may be capable of kicking your ass

James Bond, Likes to Beat up Women

I remember my brother telling me about this interview when it came out in the 80s and even though I like his movies. I must admit, after I saw this. It obviously changed my mind about him, if I see him out in the streets. I’m going to break his damn hip, and then go rent The Rock I was showing my friend. This video clip, and she said. "That’s why him and Wesley Snipes, like those old school passive ass Asian women if they mess with one of us new age ones. They would get a stiletto in their ass" LOL. She cracks me up

Déjà Vu but Only in High Definition

In the 80s artist by the Paul Hardcastle did a song called "19" it was about the Vietnam War. Take a look at the video listen to the words and remember he did this song in the 80s. In remembrance of a war that went on in 1965. I think the only thing that has changed is to watch the footage of the Iraq war. In high definition, and we have the common courtesy to welcome our troops when they come home. Instead of spitting on them

The Origins of the ''F'' Word

Have you used ittoday?.

You Know You're Living in 2007 If...

Its 2007, and it’s got thinking about the future. It seems like just the other day. We were talking about, 1999 that seem like the year that everything was so cutting edge. Fast forward a couple of years and a few of us can leave our home without our cell phone (I know I can’t). Today we communicate through text messaging, instant messaging talking through the computer to a landline and some of the gadgets that are due to come out this year are incredible I remember when I was a child I use to watch the cartoon the Jetson and you would see flying cars. I don’t know if I’ll see one of those in my lifetime. Who knows, maybe I will, but here is a video and some reminders of the future that we live in
YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2006 when...
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that
they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if
anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the
screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the
first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you
turn around to go back and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this
message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this
list.
AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself

MEDIUM... I don't think so

This is Patricia Arquette

star of the hit American TV show medium, where she plays a psychic that helps solve murder mysteries the tag line on her website is (she sees things. Others can't) apparently Miss Arquette wants everybody to see these two thing OMG her TV show should be called HUGE. Instead of mediumhttp://www.nbc.com/Medium/

Oh My God! I'm Getting Older Where Did My Life Go?

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering
experience…I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you
imagine. Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing everyday that scares you Sing Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours. Floss Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
yourself. Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. Stretch Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone. Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body,
use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever
own.. Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don't

follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for
good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out. Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will
look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth. But trust me on the sunscreen…

Mid-Term Elections, Sin City

It’s almost Tuesday, and the political race is getting ugly (but don’t they say that every year?) Have never known politics to be a warm and fuzzy feeling that you get that brings a bright smile to your face when you watch them going on. I either read or heard somewhere a long time ago. "There are two things you do not want to see being made hotdogs and politics." And I guess until the age of 31 or so. They never interest me one way or another. Yes, I would look through the USA Today page and see article "Jesse Jackson for president or Al Sharpton struggles to keep his campaign going strong." But it never interest me and my father would sit and watch Meet the Press. I could never understand why what or how he could watch that. But now I understand. I was younger than and I was doing what young people do living a carefree life and he was older, and he was doing what older people do. Being the keeper of my future. He was making sure that in his words. "Those crooked bastards." Did not mess up my future. I find myself doing and saying the same thing.
But I find myself doing it for my nieces and nephews. I know every country hates us every extremeness with the right amount of explosives, and he and his or her mind wants to come to the middle of Times Square or some major metropolis and blow themselves up, to make a point. My voting on Tuesday will not change that someone will always want to do something crazy. But my voting on Tuesday will do this it will tell some of the senators and congressmen/and women that I do not like the job that you are doing. I do not like the fact that we are spending $2 billion a week of fighting a war that was started in my opinion on half-truths. On September the 12th a day after those buildings fell, we needed a bad guy and sheriff George W. Bush mounted up his posse and found one. But sheriff Bush can’t seem to take his blinders off. He is focused and absolute and that would be a wonderful thing for a president. If there were not so many people dying every day. So he can sit in his office hold many press conferences and babbled the words "stay the course." Because the course is getting rockier and rockier, because every time an innocent Iraqi father, mother or family member has to bury one of their dead, because they were caught in the crossfire. I don’t think they think about how great it is over here in America, he or she has just been given a reason to strap on 10 pounds of explosives and make his or her point of why their loved one had to die. And if you’re reading this and thinking anti-American. Nothing could be far from the truth. I support the troops and the men and women in our Armed Forces. War is not fair, but too many people have died and many more will. But I think we have let our town sheriff pick a fight with the wrong locals. At least when Saddam Hussein was there, and they could hate him. But now, they resent us, and they try and succeed in killing each other. We are just merely a casualties of war. We are not fighting it. We are just dying from it

The Power Of the BANANA

After reading this, you'll never look at a banana in the same way again.
Bananas contain three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber. A banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy.
Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes.
But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit.
It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.
Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.
PMS: Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.
Anemia: High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.
Blood Pressure: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.
Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.
Constipation: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.
Hangovers: One of the quickest
ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.
Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.
Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.
Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.
Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.
Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and crisps. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.
Ulcers: The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.
Temperature control: Many other cultures see bananas as a "cooling" fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand, for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.
Smoking & Tobacco Use: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassiu! m and ma gnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.
Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.
Strokes: According to research in "The New England Journal of Medicine, 'eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!
Warts: Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!
So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, "A banana a day keeps the doctor away!"
PS: Bananas must be the reason monkeys are so happy all the time! I will add one here; want a quick shine on our shoes?? Take the INSIDE of the banana skin, and rub directly on the shoe...polish with dry cloth. Amazing fruit.

Sunday Morning Quickies

Quickie #1 One day, a husband came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went fishing
Quickie #2 A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!" The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get out."
Quickie #3 Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.
Quickie #4 A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' "Can you read this?" the optician asked. Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."
Quickie #5 Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent." "Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonnay."