Obituary

Today we mourn the passing
of a beloved old friend by the name of
Common Sense
who has been with us for many years.
No one knows for sure how old he was
since his birth records were long ago
lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered
as having cultivated such value lessons as
knowing when to come in out of the rain,
why the early bird gets the worm and
that life isn't always fair.
Common Sense
lived by simple, sound financial policies
(don't spend more than you earn)
and reliable parenting strategies
(adults, not kids, are in charge).
His health began to rapidly deteriorate
when well intentioned but overbearing regulations
were set in place.
Reports of a six-year-old boy
charged with sexual harassment
for kissing a classmate;
teens suspended from school
for using mouthwash after lunch;
and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student,
only worsened his condition.
It declined even further
when schools were required to get parental consent
to administer aspirin to a student;
but, could not inform the parents
when a student became pregnant
and wanted to have an abortion.
Finally, Common sense lost the will to live
as the Ten Commandments became contraband;
churches became businesses;
and criminals received better treatment
than their victims.
Common Sense finally gave up the ghost
after a woman failed to realize
that a steaming cup of coffee was hot,
she spilled a bit in her lap,
and was awarded a huge settlement
Common Sense
was preceded in death
by his parents, Truth and Trust,
his wife, Discretion;
his daughter, Responsibility;
and his son, Reason.
He is survived by two stepbrothers;
My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral
because so few realized he was gone.
If you still know him pass this on,
if not join the majority and do nothing.