Sunday, July 02, 2006

Unusual Anniversary To some?


I think everyone has significant dates in their life, such as birthdays Christmas holidays wedding anniversaries and things of that nature . But today the is a day that has a mixed blessing for me today is the day that I had my accident, putting me in this wheelchair. Some people would look at this date, as a grim reminder of what has happened. That to be quite honest. Maybe it’s my sick sense of humor, but I celebrate it. It was a defining moment in my life. It has made me the man that I am today. And with my family support and my mother’s words of constant encouragement of"God does not make mistakes"I feel as though I have a lot to celebrate first I will take you through the steps of this day literally and metaphorically. I was in Shreveport, Louisiana visiting my brother and his wife. My brother was still in the military stationed at Barksdale Air Force Base. I had been there for a week, and in 1982. There wasn’t much to do in Shreveport, Louisiana there was one strip mall with about seven individual shops inside of it and I had already been there about three times. There was also a movie theater we had been there also has a matter of fact. The last movie that I saw the day before my accident was Firefox with Clint Eastwood. My brother gave me a hard time, because I was a chicken and did not want to see the movie remake of "The Thing". I was a video game head and I love playing video games. I remember my brother, catching me out in the lobby and giving me a hard time, because I was supposed to be inside the movie theater watching the movie (he always found a way to bust me out. When I was doing something wrong). LOL but the next morning I got up a very early I always did, because my brother got up early. So he was inadvertently, wakes’ I up. I remember fooling around with my brothers inexpensive stereo system, which I knew I was probably going to get trouble about: -) but just overall being bored around his apartment, and his ex-wife was not the most entertaining woman. I guess that’s why that’s his ex-wife. Whole another story LOL anyway it was about lunchtime, and I was just eating some fish and chips microwavable dinner when two of my brothers best friends from work came over and wanted me to go swimming at a nearby lake. I was so happy to be going somewhere, but my sister-in-law told me I needed to call. My brother at work to ask his permission I called he was very busy and told me yes. I later found out that he regretted telling me that because he knew I had never been to a lake but he felt as though. I was in good hands with his friends and he felt slightly guilty about me being there and not going anywhere. Just for the record we have had our time to talk as adult men, and now he is 100% OK with it because he sees the way that I’m living my life. Anyway I proceeded to the lake with my brothers friends it was an extremely hot July day. I remember what I was wearing a pair of blue shorts some moccasins and a blue lacrosse club shirt on and under that I had on my Speedo’s which I had just purchased. Because I was a swimmer and diver but only around a pool. I remember going down the winding road that led to the lake. We got out of the car and went to the picnic area to be in the shade. We sat and talked for while joked around, things like that and then one of my brothers friends said"OK let’s make this happen"I remember the sun being so sold very hot as we walked from under the shade of the trees. I remember standing there first taking off my shirt, and then my shorts, and then I stepped out of my moccasins the sand felt so hot I began to run like I would as if I were at a pool to get out of the sand. I remember launching my body into the air, and then a split second later. I felt nothing. I opened my eyes, and I could see my hands, but I could not move them. I was lying in the water face down. I could feel the water go into my mouth. But I could not stand up it seem like an eternity that I stayed there, and finally, one of my brothers friends drag me to the shore. The only thing I could feel was my nose. My lips and my ears. My brother’s friends were crying one of them. On repeating"oh my God Nathaniel is going to kill me"I remember the hot sun. I once felt all over my body but now I can only feel it on my face. I started to cry, because I knew something was wrong. The local lifeguards stabilized my neck with sandbags or leased it felt like sandbags until the EMTs got there they arrived on the scene and I remember a very authoritative but a gentle female paramedic. She asked me"sweetheart are you having any trouble breathing"through the whimpers of my crying I answered her"no I can breathe OK. I just want my mother"she responded with a caress to my face, and told me"we will get your mother, but we need to make sure you are breathing OK. So I’m going to put some oxygen over your face for the ride to the hospital"they loaded me in to the ambulance. This world was foreign to me. I had never been inside of an ambulance before, this smells and sounds were so strange. I remember her yelling to the driver"would you please stop going over bumps. We have a possible spinal cord injury back here"she called to the Air Force Base, to gain access. They told her they did not have a neurologist there. I would have to go to bolster city general hospital. She got back on the radio and told them. I have a possible spinal cord injury incoming"they told her"we are extremely overloaded here. Is there another location, you can transport him to"her response listens ladies? I’m coming into the fucking hospital have a neurologist on hand ASAP!!!"she hung up the radio and intended to me. She did her. I was visibly scared. So she kept on caressing the only place that I could feel my for head and telling me"everything is going to be OK Sweetheart, everything is going to be OK. Just relax your breathing OK. Your vitals are fine. We are about five minutes away from the hospital. You’re going to be OK"when I got to the hospital. There was chaos everywhere. I remember everyone in the emergency room was attending to me I started to get even more scared. I Nurse came over and said"we are going to have to put you in traction. I didn’t know what that was basically, they took a steel apparatus and screwed it into the sides of my head and then hanging about 25 pounds of weight off of the back of the bed keeping my spinal column in alignment. It was excruciating pain despite the pain medication. They had given me the last sides that I saw before. I started to fall asleep from the pain medication were my brother and his wife standing there in the corner of the curtain with tears in his eyes. That’s what I really got scared. I had never seen my brother cry before the next couple of months and also a first-year was the hardest . I again sensation back everywhere except my knees down my mobility improved more than they expected. You may read this and say why are you celebrating, because I got the chance to live another day and each day has been a gift, because I know, because my mother told me"God does not make mistakes. You have a purpose"today I will go out tonight have a good time and celebrate my life, because I could have died. Right there in a lake in Shreveport, Louisiana, but that was not his will. I think my purpose in life is to educate. To make people understand that just because you have a disability. Your life does not cease to exist in my case. It began on July 2, 1982. At 4:45 p.m. I’ve experienced so much in these years. I’ve done things that surprise me, as well as my family. I love the look on people’s faces when they find out I’m in a wheelchair. But I’m moving a complete life filled with everything you do plus a little but more: -) and I won’t sit here and be a hypocrite and say I haven’t had my bad days. But they are few and far between. So,with my brothers confidence in me of always saying"handle your business" and my sisters willingness to live for each day and my nieces and nephew, unconditional love I thankfully embraced my destiny , and look at this world for what it is in my eyes because he gave me the chance to see the world . And for me . It is a wonderful world , because I was left with the chance to be on it . :-)

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

wow - i have to be honest i copuldn't get through all of this b/c i am just in awe that u can share this - relive this in writing it again.....life is an amazing blessing -cortney

Tucker said...

:-) thank you Courtney it wasn't meant to make you sad just to appreciate your own life time is so precious

Warrior Within said...

Hi, I randomly came across your blog this morning searching for the availability of the title" A Beautiful Mind" and your story touched my heart, you have so much faith! your postive outlook on life is such an inspiration,even to me, a complete stranger. I am ashamed of the things I take for granted and how often I forget to thank the lord for the beautiful life he has given us. Thank you for reminding me and thank you for courage in sharing your lessons and hope with the world!
" Open your heart to the promise of daybreak- Welcome each morning, embrace all it brings... See every dawn as a beautiful promise, for life is a gift that holds wonderful things."
God bless you and give you a wonderful day!- Katrina